A CUPPUL OF WEEKS AGO A FAMUSS CAT FOTOGRAFFER CAME TO OWR HOWSE TO TAKE PIKCHERS OF THAT SKINNY LITTUL WITE CAT BUT HE TOOK MY PIKCHER TOO BECUZ HE NOZE A HANSUM BIGMAN CAT WIN HE SEES ONE THIS IS MY "HELLO LADEEZ" LOOK DUZ IT MAKE YOO HOT LIFE'S A TRIP PLEEZE AND THANK YOO!
Sunday, November 30
HELLO LADEEZ!
A CUPPUL OF WEEKS AGO A FAMUSS CAT FOTOGRAFFER CAME TO OWR HOWSE TO TAKE PIKCHERS OF THAT SKINNY LITTUL WITE CAT BUT HE TOOK MY PIKCHER TOO BECUZ HE NOZE A HANSUM BIGMAN CAT WIN HE SEES ONE THIS IS MY "HELLO LADEEZ" LOOK DUZ IT MAKE YOO HOT LIFE'S A TRIP PLEEZE AND THANK YOO!
Friday, November 28
DO I HAVE BOOBS????
SUM OF THE OTHER CATS IN MY HOWSE ARE MAKING FUN OF ME AND THEY SAY I GOTS BOOBS WICH IS NO WAY NO HOW RITE CUZ I AM A BIGMAN CAT THEY SEZ WARE THARE'S NIPS THARE BOOBS AND THAT JUST CANNOT BE RITE CUZ I AM A BIGMAN CAT I AM RUFF AND TUFF AND FULL OF TURKEY TOO I LOVE THANKSGIVING AND I SLEEPED IN MY LADEY'S ARMS LAST NITE THAT MADE ME PURR SO I GROOMD HER REEL GOOD ALL THE WAY UP TO THE ARMPITS ON BOTH ARMS I GIT TO SLEEP IN THE PEEPUL BED BECUZ I AM THE BEST CAT IN THE HOWSE!!!!!Tuesday, November 25
TABBY TOOZDAY
I'M A VARY GOOD HELPER I HELP THE MAN WITH THE INNERNETS AND I EVEN PUSH THE BUTTONS ON THAT BLACK THING IT MAKES HIM SAY TRIPPER REELY LOWD I LIKE LOWD TABBYS ARE THE MOST HELPFULEST CATS LIFE'S A TRIP!
Thursday, November 20
Rules for stray cats in owr howse
I found this in a pile of stuff the man had given to My Ladey:
Strict, Unbending Rules
For Dealing With Psyko Stray Cats
1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk,
yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it.
source: http://www.catscans.com/straycats.htm
Tuesday, November 18
I GOT STUFF IN THE MALE!!!!!
THE CAROLINA CATS SENDED US SUM COLLAR CHARMZ AND THARE WAS A CARD WITH NIP IN IT SO I NOKT THE CARD ON THE FLOOR AND PAST OWT AFTER I INHALED ALL THE NIP I LOVE THE CAROLINA CATS FINNY BUDDY AND JAZZY YER THE BEST LIFE'S A TRIP PLEEZE AND THANK YOOOOO
Monday, November 17
MANCAT MUNDAY!!!!!!!!!
LOOKEEY WHUT I FOWND THIS GRATE NIT BLANKIT THAT SMELLS REELY INTRISTING LIKE CATNIP AND GOFERS ROLLED INTO ONE I ROLLED ALL OVER IT AND GOT MY SMELLS ON IT AND IT STILL SMELT KINDA LIKE GOFERS IT IS VARY CUMFY AND EVEN THO IT DUZN'T HAVE ANY BRITE RANEBOW COLORS I THINK IT IS PRITTY SO I AM MAKING IT THE NEW OFFISHUL TRIPPER THE PSYKO STRAY CAT BLANKIT PLEEZE AND THANK YOO LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!!Thursday, November 6
DONA NOBIS PACEM
I LOVE PEESE. LIKE PEESES OF TOONA THOZE ARE YUMMY AND PEESES OF CHIKKIN OR HAMBERGERS WHUT????? REELLY??? OH MY BAD. THIS IS ALL ABOWT THE PEESE WARE PEEPUL OR CATS DON'T KILL BUT INSTED ARE IN A HAPPY PLACE SO I GESS THAT MEENS I WON'T BE CAMPED UNDER THE BERD FEEDER TODAY IN HONOR OF MIMI LENNOX I'M NOT GONNA MAKE ANY BERDS OR GOFERS GO DED TODAY THIS WAS NOT A GOOD WEEK IN ONE WAY CUZ MY LADEY GOT LADE OFF ALL CUZ OF GEORGE BUSH AND HOW HE RECKED THE COUNTRY BUT IT IS A GOOD WEEK CUZ WE ELEKTED A PREZIDENT HOOZ VEEPEE IZN'T HOT TO START BOMMING THE BEEJEZUS OWT OF EVRY COUNTRY ON THE GLOBE EVEN THE ONES SHE CAN'T SEE FRUM HER HOWSE AND SHE PURRNOWNSES NOOKLEEUR "NOOK-YOO-LER" JUST LIKE GEORGE BUSH WICH DRIVES MY LADEY INSANE I LOVE MIMI LENNOX CUZ SHE LOOKS GOOD IN A PENSIL SKERT AND SHE GITS EVRYBUDDY THINKIN ABOWT PEESE EVEN IF IT MEENS I CAN'T MAKE BERDS GO DED TODAY PLEEZE AND THANK YOO LIFE'S A TRIP!
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