Monday, December 29
Friday, December 26
AND HEER I AM ASLEEP NEXT TO MY LADY'S KRISSMISS HAT IT IS A FESTIV HAT AND I LIKE IT LOTS:
Thursday, December 25
TRIPPER THE PSYKO STRAY CAT!!!!
I MITE NOT BE GITTING ANYTHING FRUM SANTA CUZ IN ADDISHUN TO LIKKING ALL THE PARTY SHRIMP BEEFORE THE PAWTY I NOKT ALL THE RUMBALLS ON THE FLOOR BUT SANTA IF YOO LOVE HARDKORE RUMBALLS AND DON'T MIND A LITTLE CAT HARE I CAN SET YOO UP!!!!
Sunday, December 21
Tuesday, December 16
Saturday, December 13
MY LADEY SEZ I CAN BE THE SANKTA LUCIA TODAY IF I WARE MY HAT RITE BUT I HAVE A PROBLIM CUZ MY CANDLES ARE NOT EREKT HOW DO I MAKE THEM POINT STRATE UP ???????PLEEZE AND THANK YOO THIS IS AN EMERJINSY CUZ IF I DON'T GIT IT FIXED MAYBEY THAT KRANKY SIMEEZE MAO WILL GIT TO BE LUCIA AND HE JUST WOODN'T BE AS GOOD AS ME I'M THE BEST BOY IN THE HOWSE MY LADEY SEZ SO LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!
Saturday, December 6
Tuesday, December 2
Sunday, November 30
Friday, November 28
Tuesday, November 25
Thursday, November 20
I found this in a pile of stuff the man had given to My Ladey:
Strict, Unbending Rules
For Dealing With Psyko Stray Cats
1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk,
yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it.
Tuesday, November 18
Monday, November 17
Thursday, November 6
Friday, October 31
Thursday, October 30
MY VARY VARY FAVERITE PART OF THE DAY IS WIN THE PEEPUL KLEEN THE CAT BOXES AND THE POOPS ARE GONE AND THE VERY SECUND THEY GIT DUN (AKSHULLY, NOT EVEN WIN THEY GIT DUN SUMTIMES I JUMP RITE IN WILE THARE STILL SKOOPING) I JUMP RITE IN AND I DIG TO CHINA CUZ I LOVE LOVE LOVE TO DIG AND THEN SUMTIMES I THINK TO MYSELF HAY TRIPPER YOO DON'T REELY HAVE TO GO DO YOO AND SO I JUST LAY DOWN RITE THARE IN THE CAT BOX IN THE NICE KLEEN LITTER AND START CHILLAXIN!!!! YOO SHOOD TRY IT IT'S FUN FUN FUN!!!!!
Wednesday, October 29
Monday, October 27
Saturday, October 25
Monday, October 20
Monday, October 13
Thursday, October 9
I THINK THIS MEENS THE LADEY IS GOING TO KEEP ME AND THIS IS MY FURREVER HOME AND I HOPE I GET TO SLEEP IN THE PEEPUL BED EVRY NITE DON'T TELL THE TRIPPER DOWN MAN THO MAO AND ROCKY ARE REELY KRANKY THIS MORNING I THINK THEY REALIZE THAT I AM THE BEST CAT IN THE HOWSE LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!
Friday, October 3
Wednesday, October 1
Wednesday, September 24
Friday, September 19
Monday, September 15
Sunday, September 14
Friday, September 12
Tuesday, September 9
Friday, August 29
Sunday, August 24
I THOT MAYBEY IF LOOKED HARD ENUF I COOD FIND THEM. I LOOKED AND LOOKED BUT STILL NO INNERNETS:
SO I TRIDE THE TRIDE AND TROO TEKNEEK OF BOXING THE BEJEEZUZ OWT OF THE COMPYOOTER SKREEN:STILL NO INNERNETS OR AS JETER HARRIS WOOD SAY DUHR. NUTHIN.
Tuesday, August 19
Tuesday, August 12
Monday, August 11
AND MONTY Q CAT MY BEST FREND IN THE WERLD I FEEL VARY BAD FOR YOO AN YER FAMLY I WISH I COOD MAKE THE HERTS GO AWAY I'M NOT USHAYMED TO SAY I LOVE YA DOOD.
Tuesday, August 5
Monday, August 4
Thursday, July 31
Monday, July 28
BUT ITS HARD FOR ME TO GO TO THE RESTRAWNT EVRY DAY CUZ THE LADEY KEEPS ME LOCKED UP IN THE HOWSE SO I CAN'T EET BERDIES BUT WIN I GIT OWT I GO STRATE TO THE RESTRAWNT HAPPY MUNDAY EVRYBUDDY PLEEZE AND THANK YOO!!!!! (IS THAT BETTER JETER HARRIS??)