Thursday, November 20

Rules for stray cats in owr howse

I found this in a pile of stuff the man had given to My Ladey:


Strict, Unbending Rules

For Dealing With Psyko Stray Cats

1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk,
yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".

11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is using it.


source: http://www.catscans.com/straycats.htm

14 comments:

  1. Rules are no match for our feline charm... they don't stand a freaking chance!

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  2. Trip, that just goes to show that whoever thinks there should be rules for ANY cats at all need to have their heads examined! Hee hee! You never, ever fail to entertain us and Momma ... thanks!
    Purrs and headbutts,
    Sabrina, Sam and Simon

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  3. That was very funny. Was the man trying to give Your Lady a hint about you perhaps?

    Tavi, Cody, Camie and Miss Jade

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  4. hahaha, he sure showed the ladey whose boss!!!

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  5. Ha, ha, ha....I think you must have won the "Tripper down man" over, even if he won't admit it : )

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  6. Stray cats will not ever ever have their own blogs.

    Stray cats will not have their own blogs with more than six posts a week.

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. Lol...Rules are meant to be ignored.

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  9. Damn, dood! You went above and beyond all of those rules 'cuz you got a BLOG, too! Way to go, Tripper!
    DMM

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  10. Those rules really morphed into something a kitty can work with.

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  11. It is good to have rules, otherwise, how could we disregard them?

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  12. our dad don't even bothur wif makin' rules anymore. he just *sighs* an' goes on wif what he was doin', an' we keep doin' what we're doin';-D

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  13. Ha ha ha ha! My mommy is laffin' and laffin' over that.

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