TODAY'S CATCH

THIS MORNING I WAKED UP ERLY TO GO HUNTING FOR MORE PREZINTS FUR MY LADEY CUZ I LIKE IT WIN I MAKE HER HAPPY AND WIN SHE SKREEMS MY NAME REEL LOWD AND THIS TIME I TOOK OFF ALL THE FURRY AND FACE PARTS AND THEN WILE I WUZ AT IT I TOOK OFF THE LEGS 2 CUZ THEY ARE THE NOMMIEST SO I EETED THEM AND I LEFT THE REST AT THE FRUNT DOOR WARE SHE COOD SEE THEM WIN SHE GOZE TO GIT THE MALE AND BOY, I THINK SHE LUVED THIS PREZINT MOST OF ALL CUZ YOO COOD HEER HER SKREEM MY NAME FRUM ABOWT 5 MILES AWAY!!!!! LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!

I AM A POT ROSTE

THE TRIPPER DOWN MAN PUT THIS ON ME CUZ I LUVS MY POT ROSTE DO YOO LIKE POT ROSTE????? WHY DUZN'T FANSY FEEST MAKE A POT ROSTE FLAYVER????? INQWIRING MINDS WUNT TO KNOW!!!! IT WOOD BE A BIG SELLER IN THE FRISKIES THINNER CUTS MORE GRAVEY LINE CUZ THE ONLY THING I LUVS MORE THAN POT ROSTE IS MY LADEY AND GRAVEY!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!

FINELY!!!

AZ YOO KNOW I HAVE HAD A REELY HARD TIME GITTING MY LADEY TO TAKE MY PREZINTS A CUPPUL OF DAZE AGO I BROT HER A FURRY THING AND I KNOW FRUM THE FOOD NETWERK THAT PREZENTAYSHUN IS EVRYTHING SO I PULLED OWT ALL ITS INNERDS AND SPRED THEM AKROST THE DEK SO THEY LOOKED LIKE STREEMERS THE INNERDS STRETCHT OWT REEEEEELY FAR AND THEY WERE BRITE RED VARY FESTIVE BUT I THINK THE COONS ATE THE FURRY THING CUZ IT WUZ GON THE NEXT MORNING SO YESTERDAY WILE MY LADEY AND THE TRIPPER DOWN MAN WERE AT CHERCH I CAWT A SLITHERY SNAKEY THING AND I PUT IT BY THE BAK DOOR

AND THEN I REARRANGED IT SO IT MADE A NICE SERKUL PATTERN

AND MAYBE I EATED JUST A LITTLE BIT OF THE HED CUZ HE WAS REEEEELY REEEEEEELY YUM YUM GOOD NOMS AND MY LADEY SAW IT AND SHE SED MY NAME REELY LOWD CUZ SHE LOVED MY PREZINT SO MUCH I AM GOOD AT GIVING GOOD PREZINTS I AM SO HAPPY I WAS PERSISTUNT AND KEEPED GIVING HER GOOD PREZINTS UNTIL SHE FOWND ONE I KNOW SHE LOVES ME EVEN MORE NOW BECUZ THE OTHER CATS ESPESHULLY THAT STOOPID STINKY GARAGE CAT NEVER GIVE HER ANY PREZINTS LIFES A TRIP!!!!!

DAGNAMITT!!!!

THIS IZ A PIKCHER OF WHUT I GOT MY LADEY FUR MUTHER'S DAY CUZ THE LIZZERD HED AND THE LIZZERD BODY DISAPPEERD MISTEERIUSSLY I THINK MAO ATE IT OR MAYBEY GAVE TO THE LADEY SAYING HE CAWT IT BUT HE SED "DOOOD! THAT IS ROOD! AND BESIDES I ONLY KETCH SNAKES" MAO'S A GOOD RIMER WELL MAYBEY THE ANTS EATED THE LIZZERD BODY ALL UP SO I WINT OWT AND CAWT A NEW THING FUR MY LADEY I GOT HER A FURRY WITH BIG TEETH BUT IT LOOKT SO YUMMY WIN I KETCHED IT THAT I ATE SUM OF IT AND THEN I ATE ITS BRANES TO MAKE ME SMARTER SEE? YOO CAN TELL IT WERKED BUT WIN THE TRIPPER DOWN MAN CAME HOME HE MADE THE FURRY GO AWAY I THINK HE MAYBE ATE IT HISSELF I DON'T LIKE HIM MUCH IXSEPT IN THE MORNINGS WIN WE WAKE UP TOGETHER HE PETS ME AND I GIVE HIM A LIK IT'S OWR RICHYOOUL LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!!

I AM SOOOOO MAD!!!!!

I GOT (CAWT) MY LADEY THE VARY BEST MUTHER'S DAY PREZINT EVER!!!! I BROT HER A LIZZERD THAT I GOT DEDDED AND I LEFT THE BODY ON THE FRUNT PORCH MAT AND ITS HED ON THE BAK DEK MAT SO THAT NO MATTER WICH DOOR SHE WINT OUT SHE WOOD SEE MY PREZINT AND YOO WOODN'T BEELEEVE WHUT HAPPEND!!!!!!!!!!! A RACOON CAME UP AND ATE THE DEDDED LIZZERD HED ON THE BAK DEK MAT JUST LIKE THAT NOM NOM NOM..... NOW WTF IS THAT ALL ABOWT????? MY LADEY WUZ MAKIN LOTS OF SQWEELY NOIZES CUZ SHE COOD SEE THE COON GOING NOM NOM NOM ON HER PREZINT. IT WAS VARY DISTERBIN'. AND SHE STILL HAZN'T SEE DA LIZZERD BODY ON THE FRUNT PORCH YET I HOPE THE ANTS DON'T EET IT ALL GONE. LIFE'S A TRIP!!!!